Why you need to write an intimidation list and how it helps you

Why you need to write an intimidation list and how it helps youWhy you need to write an intimidation list and how it helps youActually giving my all to something. Sandwiches stacked so thick with veggies I dont know how to take a bite. Being vulnerable. Money talk. People who can strut better in stilettos than I can in sneakers.These are a few of the items on my intimidation list. Others include calling the doctors office to schedule an appointment and telling any service person that they made my order incorrectly.When was the last time you sat down and asked yurself, What intimidates me? Beyond that, when was the last time you sat down to do some self-reflection? Ew, I know. I know.But hear me out. Its super important to reflect on yourself, your ambitions, your fears, your experiences- all of it. If you dont understand why you are where you are, who you are- how are you supposed to get where youre trying to go? Have you ever been stressed, and you cant really pinpoint why- until yo u pay your phone bill and simultaneously release your clenched jaw- realizing that was it the whole time?In making time for our work, our friends, our pets, our families, our side hustles- we forget to make time for us. Weve taught ourselves that its more important- a quick fix- to deal with the what (take ibuprofen because my jaw hurts), without giving any thought at all to the why (why am I clenching my jaw?). Fixing the symptoms in the short run works. Its easier. But in the long-run, youre doing yourself a great disservice.Thats where the intimidation list comes in. Were all intimidated by something. We were inspired byan article on Man Repeller (we love them)- it got us thinking about what were intimidated by. And why.The processI recommend a simple two-stepper. Get comfy, put on some Stevie Nicks (or whoever), and grab your pen. (Yes, I know, we have computers. Bear with me- I think this works better on real paper.) Actually, on that note- also chuck your phone and computer fa r far away from you. No distractions. Youre going to work through two questions.What am I intimidated by?Why am I intimidated by that?Soooo easy, right? Take a few minutes to sit there and write. Give yourself time- theyre not all going to come to you at once. If you really feel gung-ho about this, take a week to stay cognizant to your intimidations as you come across them, noting them when you do. I did, and I was surprised at how often I push away thoughts of aghhhhh throughout the week- some things Ive made habitually intimidating.What intimidates meI encourage you to try to go a bit deeper than the surface level intimidations that youll think of. Taking risks, failing, confident people are all intimidating- I get it. But what else? What specific things, people, experiences, intimidate you? Do you encounter something day in day out that gets you, every time?Do you usually avoid doing something, avoid seeing someone, or talking about a certain topic? Is it because youre intimidate d?When I tried to pick my coworkers brains about their intimidations, answers included, creative ruts, making a fool of myself, loud men in meetings, new coworkers (which we all were, at some point, meaning that Kit was intimidated by her subordinates), client silences, and good looking people (people with geometric faces).It doesnt have to be a big reveal- you probably subconsciously know what belongs on this list.Work through itI read somewhere recently- and now I cant find it, of course- that people arent really afraid of failure. Most of us arent petrified by the idea that we wont succeed at something. Were actually afraid that it will work. Were afraid of being great. Were afraid of reaching our potential. Because what then?Once youve figured out what youre intimidated by, its time to take it a step further, and ruminate on the why.Im intimidated by the idea of actually giving my all to something. Im scared to reach my full potential. But when I asked myself why, I realized tha t its because if I give my all, and I still am not where I want to be, Ill feel inadequate. I would rather be able to say, Yeah, I didnt succeed, but I didnt really try my hardest. It makes risks easier to take, and failure easier to swallow, if I can use the excuse that at least I didnt give it my all- so its not a dead end. I also realized, that on some level, I know exactly what I need to let go of in order to get to where I want to be. I need to let go of this fear of not being enough, even if I completely try my hardest. Ill work on it.Yeah, but whats the point?Whats the point of this, you mean? Other than being fun (woo), this is also a great exercise to help you identify your fears- which is the first step in challenging them.If you spend time just to make a list about what youre fearful of, what youre impressed by, great. Great start. If you take a few minutes more to question why those things intimidate you- even better. Maybe youll find common themes. Maybe youll learn tha t youre not actually afraid of what you thought you were. Maybe youll find that what you think youre afraid of, youre really one step away from conquering. And thats where self-growth starts.So dig deep this week. Reflect. What intimidates you?This article was originally published on CareerContessa.